It's not fair!
by Raphaelforte
Summary: Slight Yaoi hints. CG/DM conversation. Some dueling. R&R please?


A.N Written after a conversation where I noted that Celtic Guardian died literally every time he duelled. So this is the response, don't know if its any good, but it does have CG/DM hints. Who knows if Anzu and Yugi have the cards I list? Who cares? This fan fiction, it's not supposed to be right. Oh yeah. I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. However I do have a Dark Magician, Celtic Guardian, D Human, Blue Eyes White Dragon, Gaia, Ancient Elf etc Cards.These do belong to me. You can have them if you prise them from my cold dead fingers.  
  
"It's not fair!" This statement was accompanied by a loud bang as Celtic Guardian slammed his fist down on the table. A stream of fluent Elven cursing also followed it as the elf realised how much that action had hurt.  
  
"What is it now Cian?" The speaker, a very drowsy Dark Magician, sounded slightly irate at being woken. The purple haired duel monster hauled himself up from the sofa.  
  
"I always die!" Anyone listening would have noticed the slightly whiney tone that this statement was spoken with. Anyone pointing it out though would have found themselves needing medical treatment.  
  
"Everyone dies sometimes." Dark Magician sighed, running his fingers through his tousled hair and grimacing at the sight he must have presented.  
  
"Not every other duel though!" Cian wailed.  
  
"You don't." The Mage stopped and thought about this, biting back on the giggle that threatened to rise up, "Oh, you do." He was tired, and perhaps Cian missed what he had just said, " What can I do about it?"  
  
"Talk to Yami for me Maylin?" The elf injected a sugary sweetness into his voice, using his pet name for the Magician and (thankfully) not showing any sign he had heard the earlier comment.  
  
"Talk to him yourself." Maylin counted, scowling, as he had to pick the knots out of his hair. The tone he delivered it in made it clear that he was not interested in this and wanted to get some sleep in before the next inevitable duel. It also killed the conversation. Cian wondered if there was a male form of PMS, certainly Maylin seemed to suffer from it sometimes.  
  
"And say what?" Cian tried. He was met with stony silence as the Mage ignored him, his pout clearly visible in the mirror that hung over the fireplace, "I'm going for a walk now."  
  
He left the Magician to stew for a while.  
  
Thinking did little to help the Guardian come up with an answer. He was usually the first card the Yugi or Yami drew. That came with it's own set of dangers, but if they would just lay a trap card, he might be able to fight at least a couple of enemies. Then dying wouldn't be so bad.  
  
There were few cards that could raise his attack strength either. He got a bonus on grassland, and extra 30% if memory served. That would give him attack strength of.1820. Sogen added 200 to both his attack and defence, invigoration would increase his attack by 400, but deducted 200 defence points.that gave him a total of 2420 attack and 1560 defence.  
  
But Celtic Guardian could see the flaw in that. Those cards might take a long time to draw, and there were cards a lot stronger than him in Yugi's deck. It wasn't fair.  
  
A familiar tingling overtook him, showing him that it was time to duel again. He sighed, partially in annoyance at what he assumed was going to be a waste of time.  
  
"I summon D Human!" Yugi's opponent was Anzu. This must have been a pretty serious duel, judging by the looks on each of the two's faces. Cian wondered what it was about, an argument perhaps?  
  
"Then I'll summon the Celtic Guardian! In attack mode!" Happily the Guardian realised he was taking on a weaker monster, 100 points weaker to be exact. Anzu didn't look bright enough to have set any traps either."Celtic Guardian! Silver blade strike!" The slash was enough to destroy D Human, sending him to the graveyard.  
  
Anzu looked a little put out as her life points dropped. She glanced at her hand, then at Cian, then back at her hand.  
  
"Okay then." She began, " I'll play one card face down.and Petite Angel in attack mode!" no doubt the girl was attempting to lure him into a trap. The strategy was crude, Yugi wasn't fooled by it.  
  
"I'll play this then. It's a magic card known as remove trap. It does just what the name suggests. I'll also play another card face down." There was a holographic scene of the face down card being destroyed and Celtic noticed with relief that he hadn't fallen into the trap hole, "I'll also play Sogen, which increases my Celtic Guardian's attack and defence by 200 points! Making him all the harder to beat! Now Celtic Guardian, destroy Petite angel!"  
  
The Guardian obeyed, pleased when the cutesy card vanished to follow D Human into the graveyard. Anzu looked annoyed to say the least. She glared at the Guardian and then at Yugi. Cian waited for the next card. Yugi yawned.  
  
Anzu was down to 900 life points. So she'd have to draw a pretty good card to beat him.  
  
"I'll play Succubus Knight, in attack mode!" With an attack of 1650 Celtic was in trouble, "Now Attack!"  
  
"Then I'll activate my trap. MIRROR FORCE!" The attack was deflected back, destroying the dark knight and removing another 225 life points. So far Yugi hadn't lost one. This girl was an amateur.  
  
"Very well." Anzu ground her teeth together, "I'll play one card face down in defence mode." Yugi didn't dare attack, for fear of loosing his life points.  
  
"I'll play one card face down again then." Yugi decided, "I'll also summon My Dark Magician! In attack mode!"  
  
Celtic watched as the Magician materialised, glad that the mage seemed to have cheered up a little. At least he had got the tangles out of his hair. Maylin offered Cain a winning smile before focusing on the face down card. A Dark Magic attack quickly destroyed it, revealing it to be some fairy type.  
  
"Then I guess my only choice is to give up." Anzu stepped off the dualist platform, a pout on hat might have been pretty features to some. Celtic Guardian felt a little disappointed at this.He had been looking forward to beating up on cards weaker than him.  
  
He vanished from the field.  
  
"You survived that one." Maylin had settled down on the sofa again, and was looking over the back of it at Cian.  
  
"It was Anzu." Cian replied, "She's easy to beat."  
  
"You survived one." Dark Magician repeated, "So you can't complain."  
  
"Hmmm." A wicked thought crossed the Guardian's mind, causing him to smirk, " Maylin?"  
  
"Yes?" Realising something was wrong the Magician was hesitant.  
  
"How many people can fit under a magic hat?" Celtic Guardian asked.  
  
"One or Two." The Mage replied, "Why?"  
  
"Just think of the next Duel Yugi has." Cian trailed off, grinning again. Dark Magician narrowed his eyes a little.  
  
"There is no way you're getting under a hat with me!" He started, cut off as Celtic Guardian leant over and kissed him, before giggling, running out the front door, leaving a very frustrated Dark Magician to ponder what to do now. 


End file.
